1. I was three over today: One over a house, one over a patio and one over a swimming pool..

~ Baseball Hall of Famer George Brett

  1. Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And I took a 7 to do that.
    ~ Sports Writer Jim Murray

    3.    The only sure rule in golf is – he who has the fastest cart never has to play the bad lie.
    ~ Baseball Hall of Famer Mickey Mantle

    4.     Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you’re not good at them.
    ~  Actor Kevin Costner

    5.      I don’t fear death, but I sure don’t like those three-footers for par.
    ~  PGA Golfer Chi Chi Rodriguez

    6.      After all these years, it’s still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye.
    ~ PGA Golfer Chi Chi Rodriguez

    7.      The ball retriever is not long enough to get my putter out of the tree.
    ~  Tom Weiskopf

    8.       My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt. The rest can never be mastered .
    ~ Lord Robertson

    9.        Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.
    ~ Jack Benny

    10.      There is no similarity between golf and putting; they are two different games, one played in the air, and the other on the ground.
    ~ Ben Hogan

    11.       Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of the time, you’re the best.
    ~ Jack Nicklaus

    12.       I never pray on a golf course. Actually, the Lord answers my prayers everywhere except on the course.
    ~ Billy Graham

    13.       If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play at it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf.
    ~ Bob Hope

    14.       While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake in a sand trap.
    ~ Henny Youngman

    15.       If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.
    ~ Jack Lemmon

    16.       You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.
    ~ Lee Trevino